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Spring 2018                                    Home going Issue

My Endless Love

What my Dad's Homegoing Continues to Teach me in Life

I'm not special but the love I shared with my dad was the most special thing in the world to me. I don't typical talk about it; in fact, people who know me would simply say, "You're such a daddy's girl" or my personal favorite, "You're your dad's child" but our relationship was something I lived but rarely talked about until now.

I guess I didn't talk about my dad's impact on my life because some things are just impossible to articulate. It would be such a gross understatement to say he was my guiding light, my source of wisdom and the calm in my storms because my dad was (and still is) so much more than that. If I had to define my father's love, the best description would be this- My dad's love is biblical. This is not a general comparison, its a fact; my dad loved me with all the love he first received from his Lord and Savior and that kind of love is quite inexplicable. My dad was not a perfect person and I can not speak to the quality of husband, grandfather, uncle, friend, brother or employee he was to someone else but I can share who he was  as my father and some of the most important lessons I learned from him.  To me, he gave the gift of perfect love and I'm  blessed because of it. 

One of the main qualities people noticed about my dad was the strength in his silence. I was the opposite from him in that respect but one of the lessons he made sure that I received before going home to heaven was that I'd learn how to rest in God completely and not rely on my own strength in any situation. Oftentimes, I was better at encouraging others to be quiet and to be still then I was at practicing it myself- but my dad was confident by the time he was preparing to depart from this world that I had "gotten" most if not all of the lessons he was teaching me while he was here on earth with me.

Although my father lived fully in his beliefs and read his Bible daily, he never beat me over the head with demands about going church or reading the Bible myself; he understood that Christ would be best understood if he were exemplified and lived out in front of me.  To this end every time I looked in my father's eyes, heard his raspy voice, or even just sat quietly beside him, I saw a glimpse of Christ.  It wasn't a sermon in church that made me want to deepen in my knowledge of Christ, it was the love my father gave me that made me reach for my Bible, long for fellowship, want to share the Word with others, go to seminary, and develop new community ministries.  


My dad took the antiquity of Christianity and made it part of my progressive, contemporary world.  He would sit in his gazebo or on his deck in the sun for hours just seemingly staring in to space but his thoughts were never aimless. He was in constant communication with God. His gratitude for God's provision was unmatched. Although my dad had a way of making the air smell sweeter and sky seem bluer when we experienced nature together, the most important thing he would do during our outdoor moments was reiterated that everything beautiful and right with the world was and is God. 


In looking back on the year I spent with my dad while he was in treatment for his cancer, I never thought for a minute I was doing anything to care for him. He'd laugh and call me his little Florence Nightingale because I may have driven him to treatment, take him for lunch, or stayed with him after treatments to make sure he ate but I always knew that I was the one who was receiving care every time we were together. While he was the one diagnosed with a terminal illness, he never once complained. I on the other hand was figuring out my life, trying to develop a community service agency, budgeting money, and complaining incessantly about broken relationships or bureaucracy. He would listen, sometimes just shake his head and then challenge me with a point phrased as a question like- "You just don't get it, do you?" That would literally be all he had to say before I'd confess my disbelief, rebuke my own fear or recite to him at least three scriptures I knew I should be standing on in whatever circumstance I was lamenting. Once I'd look at him and get the confirmation, "So if you know it, everything is okay and you have nothing to worry about-case closed" we could get back to the business of seeing the end times in Trump's election via his antics on CNN.

My dad just knew how to draw me in and not to himself but to Christ. When I think about who I would be or how I would behave in absence of his influence, I fall to my knees in gratitude to God for His mercy in gifting me my father.  Another quality about my dad I rarely speak of is the fact that he just got me. That was a gift in itself for me because so few people do. I'm actually an odd ball among my family members and peers. I'm constantly told that I have a quick tongue and a harshness in my presentation and I would never have gained the confidence to share Christ with others if not for my dad's belief in me and in my appointment.  I'm actually the opposite in personality to most people I love and since I choose biblical norms over cultural ones I can easily feel alone even in a room full of people but I was never lonely with my dad. From the uniqueness in my name to my obsession with hugs, my dad made me believe that I was special just the way I am.

If I had to break down 10 of the most important lessons I learned from my dad, it would give people who know me (but never really got me) genuine insight into the fabric of my being... The decisions I've made, the hope I hold, is all part of my dad's influence on my life.  Here are 10 lessons that shapes me-

 1. It's never too late to give your life to the Lord- My dad loved every version of me, including the teen-aged rebel who broke his heart by moving out, moving in with my boyfriend and getting pregnant before I was married. Never once did my father throw up the mistakes of my past in my face. He knew that God would forgive me if I chose to ask for forgiveness.  When I gave my heart to Christ, my boyfriend became my husband, I went back to college, and I decided to dedicate my life to learning how to be a better Christian. My dad never made me feel like I needed to be a better person for him to love me.  He never punished me for my imperfections and sinful choices but he also knew better than to allow me to believe there would be no consequence for my sins- he had a way of allowing love to be the guiding force that allowed me to discover for myself that what I truly wanted in life was relationships that felt like ours. In loving me exactly where I stood in my sin, he made me desire to know Christ (the source of his love for me) and that also made me want to share that love with others. It was his love that taught me that the closer I grew to Christ, the more my life would transform to God's glory. It is because I was loved unconditionally, I try to give unconditional love.

(Read more...)

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What People are Saying

Where to start? Evangelist Nidicka, thank you for willingness to share your gifts, but more importantly in the sharing of yourself and your faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Thank you for being you and for all that you have done for our first, community movie night event. Blessings, Pastor Errol

I was blessed with the opportunity to meet Nidicka a couple of days ago over the phone and it was truly an honor! God bless you my Sista from the same Father!  Bill Morataya

I love your website! It is beautiful and full of personality like yourself... I will share love and tell friends and family to check you out! Keep doing what you are doing. Rhenotha Whitaker 

Hi Nidicka...Your site is amazing. God bless you. S. McKenley

Your love goes out into the world free and unconditional. Much love, Russ

Just wanted to say hi to my lovely ladies! Keep up the great work. M. Saraka


Need to reconnect with God again. Looking forward to reading your articles and getting back on track with his good grace. Miss you my friend. Feel so blessed to have met such a caring person. Hope your family is doing well. Keep doing what your doing girl. Thank you!! M. Marsh


The site looks amazing. Chi-


Love this website! Debbie Barr-Wright


I will most certainly pray for your ministry to reach God's children and spread the word and works of God. I look forward to connecting with you to see how we can join together to do great and mighty things. With His love, WWIII


Thank you so much for inviting me to have the opportunity to read the wonderful articles and uplifting messages on this site. I love the positive energy and thank you for helping me remember where my mind and heart need to be. 

J. Takacs


It's 4:03 am and I just awoke. Bless God I was led to Let's Talk Online! What a blessing. Sharing is truly caring. You never know how you may impact someone else's life by sharing. May God continue to bless, keep and use you Nidicka. I love you. M. Bahamonde


Great message and fantastic use of social media! Keep up the good work! 

Amy G-


Blessings to you and continue to share the word of God in such a mighty and needed way. Deborah M. Cofer


I am interested in the 30 day challenge! It was such a pleasure meeting you today. May the Lord continue to bless you. Michael Anderson


What an incredible article. I want to thank you for using my music. I pray that God's love and peace will be always felt. God bless you friend. Peace. 

Pastor Asaph Womack


Thanks a lot.  This may be a good thing.   Your words are inspiring and comforting.   You have a certain gentleness and ease of expression that makes you able to get people thinking.   This is what I think anyway.   Gifted for this work I would say...M. Storelli

 

I WAS READING SOME OF YOUR ARTICLES AND I FIND THEM VERY INTERESTING AND HELPFUL. THANK YOU NIDICKA. M. Marsh, PA

 

Your articles have been very helpful and inspirational to me. L. Sands

 

Inspirational. Reading the articles and the book makes me know that God can do all. Keep inspiring people! T. Hilton

 

I LOVE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO YOUR WEBSITE. IT IS VERY EASY TO NAVIGATE AND THE ARTICLES ARE VERY INSPIRATIONAL. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK NIDICKA! 

M. Marsh, PA

 

Your words of wisdom have been life changing and self fulfilling. So many miracles has taken place in my life because of you. MAY GOD ALWAYS BE WITH YOU!!!! 

L. O'Dowd, PA

 

The website has a lot of useful information and will be a help to those who will be seeking Christian advice. R. Dubose

 

Your level of faith is truly apparent in your poem and articles. I'm glad you share yourself with the rest of us :) M. Piranio


I am so very proud of you! Mom

 

Thank you for the lesson and scripture on patience. Love you dearly. I will see you at the end of the month. C. Richardson