With Evangelist Nidicka Frederick

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By Evangelist Nidicka Frederick

SURRENDER

What is it about that word that is so difficult to establish?  Is it the idea of giving up, giving in or letting go that drives us utterly insane or are we a generation so desperate to be in control that the very thought of relinquishing anything, even our own pain, just seem too much to handle? Whatever the matter, I am here to share with you the power found in the idea of SURRENDER and explain why you can not have the peace you are looking for in your life without it.

I can remember when I suffered from the disease “I”itious.  “I” itious is a disease of control that causes spiritual, physical and psychological warfare on the mind, body and soul and it could have killed me…literally. “I” had to be in control of everything. “I” had the answers to fix every problem and when they ended up in a greater disaster than previous, “I” thought that “I” had to come up with the fix for that too! “I” was trying to handle my emotional state as well as what others were feeling (in their lives and/or about me; it didn’t matter) and “I” thought “I” had to handle that too. 

Whether it were bills, work, school, money, heartstrings, fidelity, my parents, my children, my relationships and/or the lack thereof; “I” had to have it all under control. I never felt like “I” got what was deserved, I believed “I” always got the crap end of the stick, and “I” would often turn to God in anguish with the same cries, “Lord, what about me?” I allowed myself to believe “I” was always alone, things would never change, and “I” deserved whatever bad things happened to me because “I” was not worthy of the things I’d hope for anyway.

Dreams, the future and even someone else’s past, all made its way into my cipher of caring and like magic became part of my thoughts, making it my burden and hence my problem…but “I” had it under control. That is until the day “I” found myself standing alongside the Chesapeake Bay contemplating jumping in and ending it all! That was the day I came to terms with my diagnosis of the “I”itious and it was also the day God offered me the cure. I’d like share with you what God shared with me when He spared me that day.

God shared with me lessons that day that I continue to share in seminars, in therapy and now with you about Surrender and it is my sincerest hope that you will allow my journey to create within you an option for freedom from self prescribes anxieties much like those I once prescribed myself. In my book God’s Perfect Truth, I wrote about an incredible experience I had with the Lord. I was having a recurring dream for months. It was driving me insane (so I thought at the time) and I would have done anything just to make it go away. I would wake up in the middle of the night to the taste of my own tears or have my husband awake me with a gentle “Ne, it’s happening again.” 


This dream was the equivalent of a nightmare not because it echoed images of ghost and goblins but because of its haunting affects.  In short, in this dream I was surrounded by millions of faceless people, all in white and one of them slipped me a bag. I accepted the bag and allowed my curiosity to take a peek into the bag and found every infirmity of my life inside of it. I could feel myself losing all hope and dreams as fear, jealousy, insecurity, restlessness, pain and anxiety were part of its content.


Now the owner of this cursed purse, I became determined to give this package back to the same faceless person that had given it to me.  Everyone else seemed smarter than me knowing not to take ownership of this bag and although I could hear a voice saying “Give it to me, I will take it”, I was hell bent and determined to give it back exclusively, to its rightful owner (despite having absolutely no way to identify a face being amongst thousands of other faceless beings). 


When God paints a picture, He can paint it in all white yet make it brilliantly colorful at the same time!  I now understand that it was the Lord asking to relieve me of my burdens and that even with Him as the only viable option, I was determined to handle things myself.  Much like in my real life, in my dreams, I thought that if I just tried hard enough and were persistent enough that “I” could affect those people in my life who were making me into the version of myself I had become.  Everything wrong with me was someone else’s fault and the result of someone else’s actions against me so I felt obligated to make them “own” their part in my misery. But God doesn’t work that way. God was waiting for me to SURRENDER. In order for God to relieve me I had to first be willing to change my perspective about what was binding me and holding me captive to my despair and I believe God is also waiting for you.

In order for me to get anywhere in my life and especially in my walk with the Lord, I would have to SURRENDER to Him completely.  I could never have imagined how hard it would be for me to just rest in this concept alone. I always thought that “Letting go” was synonymous with “Giving in”, “Giving up” and “Losing”. I thought that the very nature of the word implied “weakness”. It took a while for me to learn that the only way for me to get strong was to find rest in my weakness and to allow God’s strength to lead.  

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

We can actually find strength in the knowledge of God’s sovereign power. We don’t need to validate our pain. We don’t have to collect evidence against those who have hurt us or live miserable “Woe is me” lives.  It is expected that we cast our burdens to the Lord and many of us are holding on to them so tightly that we cannot separate our circumstance from our lives! Stop trying to make others responsible for your discontent when God is clearly offering you an option to live in purpose. I remember when God revealed this to me and I remember having that now infamous from Oprah “Ah moment” when I finally said out of my heart and soul “Lord, I surrender”.  

Say it now- it literally works for everything because God has authored your life. He knows your beginning and your end.  Just go ahead and confess from your mouth, “Lord I surrender!” Whether its your…negativity, procrastination, unhealthy living (smoking/drinking), diet, weight, making reckless choices, marriage, volatile relationships, finances, infidelity, meanness, depression, anger, loneliness, a spirit of  laziness even lack of forgiveness- SURRENDER it all to God right now! God is willing to take it all and the minute you trust Him with it, is the very moment you will establish the relationship that will help you live the life God truly intends for you.  The recurring nightmare has finally ended but there was a blessing in that dream.  I feel blessed and honored to have cried those tears and to have been restless in my spirit for the opportunity to share this with you today. It is a New Year and each day you wake up, God is giving you a new opportunity to reset your life and live right through him. It is my wholehearted prayer that you will take that opportunity and change your current trinity of “me, myself and I” to the sovereign and righteous Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit!
Amen